Rough and Tough Time for Parents

 These past 9+ months have been tough for everyone. Everyone has had their own experience and set of challenges and I think they kids sure have it rough right now which has made it really tough for parents. I have never read any parenting books (maybe I should have?) I've just sort of winged it as I went, using my gut feeling and common sense to guide me. Lately, I find myself on a daily basis thinking "shit, now what do I do?" and there is no book that could've prepared me to have my kids home for a year.

I try my hardest on a daily basis to keep my kids off ipads and limit TV time but that has become fucking impossible these days. They are no longer motivated to use their own imagination, do any crafts or ride their bikes and to be honest, I have lost some motivation to keep everyone going. I keep telling them that is is scientifically proven that exercise can help their mood but despite me forcing them to run a 1/2 mile with me a day, they don't care and don't quite get it.  They are so unbelievably lonely, during a time when kids are usually the most social and are defined by their friends, they have literally started following a family on You Tube who posts about their daily lives. They seem to be happiest right now zoning out getting lost watching something - maybe that isn't so bad right now? Do I keep pushing and trying to keep the motivated and challenged or should I be more patient and just let them be?

I have never felt that age gap of my kids more than I do now. I have one in diapers at night still and one about to hit puberty. It is truly amazing the different needs they all have right now. To find movies, games and activities that are appropriate for all right now is literally impossible, so someone is always left our or there is a fight.

But millions of people have it a hell of a lot worse than we do, and I never forgot that, all of this is manageable and I tell myself everyday to remain strong and patient and enjoy every moment because I am going to blink and it will be over. But when my 11 year old sees her friends ride by on their new scooters and she isn't allowed to join them because we are currently quarantining and breaks down sobbing and crying because she is so desperate to see her friends, she's feeling left out and not lacking confidence, well there is just no answer for how to address that kind of heart break. There is nothing I can say to ease that pain for her in that moment.  The whole point of this blog is to document every moment of our lives so I can look back at our amazing life and my kids can too and I just want them to know that I heard them, I felt their pain and I did the best I could to keep them happy and safe and that I loved them move that they couldn't ever imagine - even when I forced them to run alongside me.