Maybe it is inevitable or some sort of rite of
passage for parents but I was really hoping to avoid the dreaded lice. Not much creeps me
out – I am not afraid of spiders, germs, public pools, poop, raw chicken, ants,
etc., but bugs in your head?! Nothing is more creepy.
Deep down I knew it was inevitable. We learned that we had
the little guests in our home exactly 3 weeks ago. Despite the 12 hours of
laundry when we were first told, preventative spray and constant checks, I
found a creepy crawler in Emmy’s hair Thursday night. As she was laying in my lap no less. GROSS! So at 9p at
night, you could find all 4 of us huddled in the downstairs bathroom (because
we just so happen to be tearing apart our other one at this very moment) with
lice shampoo on our heads, watching Free Willy on the ipad. I changed all bed
sheets and started the laundry once again. I was up until midnight vacuuming
couches.
Friday morning started with a 2 hour glucose test so after
being up until midnight, I couldn’t have a cup of coffee let alone breakfast
and had blood drawn 3 times. The earliest appointment I could get at the lice
salon was 6p so I thought I’d try and plan a fun night around it, since I would
be embarking on this new journey solo. Josh conveniently had a work holiday
dinner.
We hit up Boudin’s for some chili bread bowls and then
headed to the lice salon which was located in a creepy office building next
door. We were all checked extensively. Somehow Ryan escaped the creepers, Emmy
had another live guy and I had about 3 nits. DISGUSTING!! So I treated me and Emmy to an early
Christmas present – her first trip to the salon. I dropped $300 on lice treatments.
HOLY SHIT. Then we left with oil in our hair and caps on our heads (I made Ryan
wear one until I could vacuum his car seat). Since I was trying to make things
fun, we drove around to see xmas lights with hair nets on our heads.
When we got home, I proceeded to do more laundry. And change
the sheets again since we slept on them the night before. Every pillow,
blanket, stuffed animal, backpack, piece of clothing, brush, towel, pretty much
anything that came within a foot of us was either washed, thrown in the dryer
with high heat or quarantined in the garage.
Josh rolled in from his holiday “dinner” at 11p (it started
at 4:30). I mean I am sure if he could he would have excused himself from a 6
hour dinner knowing his pregnant wife was at home dealing with two kids, a dog,
lice and a ridiculous pile of laundry. Since he hadn’t been checked or treated,
he was not allowed in our bed. I didn’t torture him on purpose, I did not
realize how much fun he had and how shitty he’d feel the next morning, I was
simply being thorough. I was getting rid of the mother fuckers once and for
all. I also thought it was completely appropriate to ensure he was clean by
making him put oil in his hair for 2 hours the next morning, while I took the kids to
gymnastics. I wasn’t trying to keep him from napping while we were gone, I was
being thorough ;)Oh and the tile guys arrived at 7:30a Saturday morning just as I was starting
another full day of laundry. So to be nice, I didn’t make him wear the hair
net.
Now, please don’t avoid us this holiday season or be afraid
of us or our home. I can assure you that our house, possessions and hair have
never been to clear and disinfected!
Buddy – we sure have
shared a lot of the years and now we can add lice to that list :)
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