Apparently today is International Woman’s Day.
Honestly, this is the first I have heard of
this day, who would have thunk?
Ironically, I found myself reading a series of articles debating about
whether or not women can really have it all?
Be able to balance a family and a career?
Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook and Anne-Marie
Slaughter who previously held a senior position in the State Department
published pieces on this topic (
Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead and
Why Women Still Can’t Have it All) with very conflicting opinions.
Sandberg, who has created a very family
friendly work environment at Facebook says there are ways to juggle both.
As opposed to Slaughter who stepped down from
her position to raise her kids.
I
haven’t read either in their entirety but based on the articles I read that
compared the two, I can’t believe they are even being compared.
Sure, if you work for Facebook and have a
flexible schedule that allows you to work around your families schedules and
probably work from home, etc., you should agree you can juggle both.
If you were literally living in Washington DC
M-F and commuting home to be with your kids only on the weekends, then
absolutely that is impossible!
If you
ask me the shitty thing about the whole work/life balance thing is mothers
really don’t have a choice.
Their
employers dictate whether or not they can have the flexibility needed to be
there for their family.
Someone else
gets to decide whether or not you can have a flexible enough schedule to pick
up your kids from school, telecommute or work part time.
You can pitch it any way you want but if there
are policies in place or your Supervisor has a different opinion you are
screwed.
Look at the people who work for
Yahoo who may have taken the job because they had the ability to work from home
only to be told they have to be in the office 5 days a week.
Yes, I am a working mom who is constantly trying to find
work/life balance. Is this my
choice? No. Did I try and ask for more flexibility? Absolutely. Unfortunately, I was told I had
to be in the office 5 days a week. There
is not a day that goes by that I am not conflicted about what I am doing. I am sad to leave my house every morning and
the more I do it, it is still just as hard.
My favorite time of the day is when we are finally home together and I
get to put on my sweat pants.
Unfortunately, I only get to cherish this moment for a few hours a day
until we go to bed and do it all over again as I fly out the door at 7:30a the
next morning. 5 DAYS A WEEK. I live for the weekends, I start thinking
about the next one Sunday night. One of
the articles I read actually spoke to this conflict stating there is such thing
as mommy brain! Not in the forgetful
way, but in the I am so torn up inside trying to balance work and family way.
The Mommy Brain is a
very real phenomenon, says Brizendrine, a neuropsychiatrist, who didn’t expect
to want to stay “glued” to her child. A woman’s brain, she says, becomes
“structurally, functionally and in many ways irreversibly” altered by
motherhood. “In modern society,” Brizendrine warns, “where women are
responsible not only for giving birth to children but working outside the home
to support them economically, these changes in the brain create the most
profound conflict of a mother’s life.”
So who is right Sandberg or Slaughter? Both.
It all depends on what company a mother (and father) work for and how
accommodating their bosses are. So for
all of you who are in the position of power to make decisions on how flexible
your work environments are going to be, remember, you are dictating the family
lives of everyone that works for you.
Your decisions don’t just affect your bottom line, but the lives of the
children of the employees who work for you.
Please do not take those decisions lightly.
