Ever since I started back to work I have been struggling to accept the situation and have been fighting it by constantly trying to find a way to change it. What can I do to stay at home full time? Or part time? Is there a better, cheaper daycare option? How can we start saving money? Live in a bigger house, etc, etc? The weight of the world was on my shoulders and it was exhausting. Seeing as there really isn't anything we can do to change the current situation it was a waste of my energy and time (since I don't have much of that anymore). It wasn't until Josh told me it made him sad to see me so miserable and that I was like a different person that I knew something had to change. I don't want Emery to grow up thinking her mom is stressed and miserable. I am not sure if it is because I have been consciously trying to have more of a positive, accepting attitude, or I have finally gotten into a routine, but within the last week things seemed to have gotten a lot easier :) Yes, I wish things were different and I could stay at home but at least I work with some great people and at a very understanding company that allows me to have a flexible schedule. I am very lucky. I also have a wonderful husband who is so helpful and is determined to try and make things easier, what else can I ask for? Yesterday was a great "work at home day" I got a lot of work done and still had time at the end of the day to take Emery to the park and make dinner (which I have done every night this week!). It has taken more than 2 months but I think I have also finally gotten used to the fact that Emery is going to daycare. She seems very happy there along with all the other kids. So, I guess my point is there is something to be said about positive thinking. I mean how can anything get you down when this face is looking up at you?!
